The Best Beauty Car Experience: ORANGE CRUSH

As Teams 5 and 6 respectively, Stranglehold and Orange Crush line up next to one another in the beauty contest.  This is always interesting to me because the two teams generally seem to have the biggest fan bases and they come out to the beauty contest with as wildly divergent a set of styles as is humanly possible.

Stranglehold’s beauty car (most of the time) is a white convertible with seats that look rather comfortable.  Since the car doesn’t come close to meeting the race specifications—shockingly, you can’t race convertibles—it hasn’t been stripped out to anywhere near the degree that the other teams’ cars have been.  It’s a clean, neat car with a color scheme that harkens to a simpler time ala Penn State’s football uniforms.

Orange Crush’s beauty car is an orange/black limousine that seems lifted out of a horror movie.  With gleaming silver stacks poking up out of the hood, skulls and crossbones peppering the on car design and a driver with on-track experience and rocking a wig the likes of which would make a 1991 Bret Michaels jealous, the Orange Crush car projects an attitude of anger, ferocity and terror.

Whenever I see the two teams next to one another, I just imagine Stranglehold’s car looking over at the Orange Crush limo and shaking its head, thinking, “Young whipper-snappers!”

I can appreciate both styles of approaching the beauty contest, but I have to give the nod to the best beauty car experience to Orange Crush.  Stranglehold is definitely number two, but it’s hard to figure out—without adding a retractable stripper pole to the top of the beauty car and dancers—what’s going to dethrone Orange Crush’s reign in the beauty contest.